Approach AnxietyMasculinityOvercome Rejection

Why Approaching Is So Scary (And Why That’s secretly A Good Thing)

By October 7, 2019 No Comments
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Let me know if this situation sounds familiar:

 

It’s Saturday and you’re out, relaxing after a stressful week. 

 

And that’s when you see her:

 

A complete smoking bombshell of a girl just walking down the street. 

 

The world slows down to zero as you hyper focus on her, noticing the shine of her lip gloss and how her shirt doesn’t fully cover her waist.

 

She starts walking towards you. 

 

She looks at you, and your palms start sweating.

 

Immediately you begin wishing you had something to say. ANYTHING. 

 

And that’s when the anxiety hits.

 

The worst case scenarios of her looking at you in utter disgust flash across your mind. You picture everyone around you laughing at your miserable attempt. 

 

Hell, why would a girl like THAT even want to talk to you?

 

“She’s probably busy or in a rush,” you tell yourself. 

 

“I bet she has a boyfriend,” 

 

“I’ll talk to her after another drink” you console yourself

 

She finally walks past. You’re frozen and unable to speak.

 

“Only creepy guys approach random women anyway,” you finally conclude. 

 

Just like that, you’ve once again thrown away the perfect chance to meet the kind of girl you truly desire.

 

Approach anxiety strikes again!

 

Why God, why?! 

 

Now I want to fill you in on a little secret

 

I want to flip the whole script for you here

 

Because the truth is virtually every guy. EVERY. SINGLE. GUY. has this approach anxiety before talking to a beautiful woman.

 

And why is that a good thing? 

 

Because it means that its SUPER rare for her to actually meet a cool guy.

 

All the guys she wants to come and talk to her are too afraid.

 

Which means…

 

You already stand out as different for having the balls to go talk to her.

 

Even if you fumble it up, she’ll at least respect the fact that you put yourself out there

 

This means you have nothing to lose. Literally, NOTHING TO LOSE.

 

If you don’t talk to her than you’ve already just rejected yourself

 

But getting rejected by a girl is actually like a badge of honour, it means you at least at the balls to put yourself out there. 

 

For me personally rejection pumps me up. I love getting rejected because it forces me to try harder

 

Rejection kicks my adrenaline into overdrive and numbs my pain, so the next approach feels blissfully effortless. 

 

Here’s the secret I’ve learned after over 10’000 approaches: the first approach is always the hardest.

 

So what’s stopping you?

 

– Jared Psych Laurence

Founder: Modern Flirting

Author: The Psychology of Modern Flirting

Dating Mentor and International Speaker, San Diego

 

 

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