Want Her To Respect You? Give First

Looking for Respect?

So you want to be respected by women huh? You think negging and putting her down are going to get you there?

Think again. That isn’t Modern Flirting.

If you want her respect for you and your masculinity, let’s talk about giving first.

Whatup, Psych here.

I want to share a little story to illustrate what I’m talking about here:

I proved to myself long ago I have the balls and confidence to master cold approach, but there was always something missing. I don’t mean like a spiritual emptiness, I’m talking about my intention going to talk to a woman.

I’m talking about neediness.

Girls can read guys like a book. His face, his energy, his intention, his confidence, what he thinks about himself, it’s all so obvious to her. And when you approach her from a place of neediness, a place of lack, a place of desperation, she can smell it on you a mile away.

And it’s repulsive.

So I switched up my mindset.

When I approach a girl, I want her to feel me coming from a powerful place of abundance. From Giving.

So I decided to go out and observe 5 situations where I could give value. The trick? I had to just observe.

To be honest, it made me feel a bit like an asshole, but the idea was to train my mind to quickly see situations where I could give value. Once I know exactly where I can give value, then it’s easy to act.

This sounds simple right? But I quickly realized how hard it is to truly find a situation I could give value. I felt like superman patrolling the city, but oddly impotent without crime to solve.

Eventually my eagle eyes began seeing things, even if they were small, and took action. Here’s a quick recap of what happened.

Let’s start:

My first encounter was a girl in a wheel chair struggling to get out of the store. I told myself that I’m just supposed to observe at first so did nothing, however she also got stuck trying to get out the door so I said “screw this” and helped her out. 1 observed, 1 demonstrated.

Four more opportunities to give value…

1: A girl dropped her books in front of me. Observed.

2: I saw someone looking lost, probably wanting directions. Observed.

3: A guy was sitting around looking bored. I thought about inviting him to an event. Observed.

4: A girl was struggling with a heavy load of stuff. I could have offered to help. Observed.

To be honest, it wasn’t easy feeling the power to help yet having to ignore.

But then I decided to step it up…

1: Helped a friend with a problem he was having with a woman

2: Offered my last piece of gum to a guy standing next to me in line

3: Paid for my friend’s dinner last night

4: Met a local band and gave them contacts to help get noticed.

Sometimes it was super small like holding doors, giving directions, and complimenting the girl who did my hair, loud enough for her boss to hear.

The pay off?

When I walk down the street, I walk tall with the confidence knowing I overflow with abundance. I know I have real value to give. I’m not a leech.

And guess what?

Women notice.

Remember, respect is earned. If it was easy, it wouldn’t have any value. Be grateful it’s hard work. It’s how you stand out from the masses of average.

And at the end of the day, that’s what you want right?

– Jared Psych Laurence

Modern Flirting