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All the guru’s shout it: “You ARE abundance!” “FEEEEL Abundant!” “just be abundance!”

And to be honest, it’s kinda a get out of jail free card. Because on one hand it’s true, it’s important to have abundance in your life, but the phrase has lost virtually all its meaning.

Many people ask me: “Psych, how am I supposed to feel abundant when I don’t have any abundance in my life? There’s no women, no money, no parties, no sex, so how am I supposed to feel abundant and not get oneitis?”

love this question.

And from the outside, it can kinda feel like a chicken and egg – you need abundance to get women into your life, but you also need to have women in your life to feel abundant. It’s enough to drive you nuts. So where to start?

Here’s my strategies for radiating an abundance mentality:

1)    Be-Do-Have.

This is a Daoist philosophy, now stick with me on this. Here’s where we go wrong in the West, we think “Have-Do-Be”, as in, “once I have a million dollars then I’ll act like millionaires do and I will be a millionaire”.

Contrast this with Be-Do-Have, as in “I believe I have the skills to be a millionaire now, so I will act as millionaires do, and it is inevitable that I will have a million dollars” See the difference there? This really is a more eloquent way of saying “fake it till you make it”. Just act as if.

2)    Don’t Daydream About Things.

For anyone familiar with the Law Of Attraction, there’s one fatal flaw – it focuses on material objects.

The emphasis is about wanting that fancy car, or that pile of cash or that hot girlfriend. In essence, it focuses on wanting objects. But that’s where it went wrong and missed the point: Don’t envision the objects you want to have, envision yourself as the type of person who magnetically attracts those objects into their life.

See yourself as the person who’s confident to make business deals: how do you talk? How do you walk? Are you decisive? Do you take action? Or what about your ability to attract women if you’re a man? How do you radiate energy when you walk in the room? How do you react when she rejects you? That’s real personal growth.

Because here’s the truth: people and toys come and go. The girl you’re seeing could leave you, and you might lose all your money and have your car repossessed, but your character, personality, skills, attitudes and beliefs, can never be taken away from you. When you are that person, you can rebuild your life whenever you need to.

3)    Be in it for the long game.

Another question I get a lot from clients is “how long will it take until I feel abundant?”

My response: “who cares”.

Think about it, if I told you it would take 5 years to feel abundance, what else would you do? Throw your hands in the air, give up and say “gee whiz abundance sure is hard, looks like it’s back to mediocrity for me!”.

Remember, nothing worth having in life comes easy, and the more you have to work for it, the more rewarding it will be. This isn’t a quick fix, this is a lifelong journey.

4)    Anchoring.

So now you’ve started to experience what it’s like to be the person you want to be. What do you feel? Do you feel excitement? Energy? Butterflies? Tingling? Here’s a little NLP anchoring trick. When you’re feeling at peak state, take note of all these feelings. What’s going on inside of you? What are you feeling?

Now you might be asking what this is for, and is this just some hippy woo-woo shit? Here’s the thing, you might be feeling on top of the world today, but maybe tomorrow, or maybe someday in the future, some things are going to go wrong, and you’re not going to be feeling so good. What then?

Well now when you’re having a bad day, you can go back to these feelings you anchored and re-live them and re-experience them, and pull yourself out of your slump, and get back on top of your game.

5)    An Abundance Identity.

This is the ultimate stage. This goes beyond just wanting abundance with women or men,  or abundance with money, this is when you’ve removed all negative thought and cultivated an identity built around abundance.

This is when you know that you are the person that attracts great things into your life. Not only do you love and respect yourself, but you know and believe deep down that good things will always come your way. You’ve evolved from acting as if to just being.

Bonus Round: Be Delusional.

Another question I get from clients is “okay Psych, this all sounds well and good, but when I tell myself I’m abundant, my logical brain kicks and and says “no you’re not!”, how do I get over that?”.

It’s a great question, and my response is, “would you rather be great, or be right?”. See you could be right and say “yep I’m not actually abundant, so I guess I’ll just stop there”, OR, you could say “screw you brain, I know who I am better then you and you can’t stop me”.

The point is that you take action. As long as you’re taking action, then you’re always getting better, and moving towards greatness. But if you get stuck “being right”, then congratulations you’re right, do you think life’s gonna give you a freaking medal?

Personally, I choose greatness.

– Jared Psych Laurence

Modern Flirting

Dating and Lifestyle Mentor, San Diego